Saturday, April 5, 2008

Banned from Wal Mart

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite acommotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have beenforced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. S. are listed below and are documented by our video surveillancecameras.

1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people'scarts when they weren't looking.

2. July2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minuteintervals.

3. July7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to thewomen's restroom.

4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an officialvoice, 'Code 3 in Housewares.Get on it right away'

5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M'son layaway.

6. August 14:
Moved the 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told othershoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blanketsfrom the bedding department.

8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began cryingand screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4th:
Looked right into the security camera and used it asa mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, heasked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudlyhumming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna Look'by using different sizes of funnels

13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browses through,yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, heassumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

and last, but not least

15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,then yelled very loudly,'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.!


Wal-Mart Manager

Which is your fav. ?

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